3 Leadership Mistakes to Avoid
…If you want to build trust with your employees.
Do any of these 3 performance feedback mistakes sound familiar?
They do to me!
As a leader, I've made all 3 of these mistakes when delivering difficult performance feedback to an employee.
If you're like me, and you've made these mistakes too, the important thing is not to dwell, but rather to devote time to building your skill in delivering difficult performance feedback.
Delivering difficult performance feedback is a skill. And like any skill it takes time to develop. It also takes ongoing training and practice.
In my work as a Virtual HR Consultant, here are the top 3 mistakes I see leaders make when it comes to delivering difficult performance feedback.
#1 - Avoiding Difficult Discussions.
Have you ever heard that “it's better to feel guilty in the short run than to allow resentment to build in the long run?”
Although the reason why you might be avoiding a difficult performance discussion varies, i.e. feeling guilty, wanting to be liked, not wanting to be mean, not knowing what to say, etc., avoiding (or delaying) difficult performance discussions leads to feeling resentful toward your employee almost 100% of the time.
I once supervised an employee who continually interrupted me throughout the day with what I felt were minor (and sometimes unimportant) questions.
Instead of using her own resourcefulness and tools she had to find answers, she was relying on me to answer what seemed to be just about any question that came to her mind, right when it came to her mind.
This was a new employee, and I wanted her to feel welcomed to the team. I thought that by addressing her constant interruptions, I’d be discouraging her and making her feel unwelcomed.
I (incorrectly) thought I could just "power through," ignore it, and her questions would stop over time.
I was too concerned with being "nice" rather than helping my employee to be more successful.
Guess what? The employee’s questions didn’t stop.
And, I began to feel resentful.
I couldn't understand why the employee thought these frequent interruptions were acceptable. I thought, "why doesn't she just figure it out?"
When I finally addressed the issue with her, I was feeling annoyed and resentful, and rather than calmly talking to her about it, I “snapped” at her during one of her interruptions.
In retrospect, what I should have done was ask to meet with her and deliver the feedback in a calm, constructive manner: “Here's what I've observed, and here's what I expect and why I expect it.”
I also would have asked her why she wasn't using the tools she'd been given to find answers to her questions?
If I would have started by asking this simple question, I would have realized that she needed more training on how to find her answers.
I would have also discovered that she had underlying confidence issues and that she needed more encouragement from me.
This was a huge lost opportunity in our working relationship.
By avoiding the conversation, I lost the opportunity to effectively address the issue and in all honesty, I broke trust between us through my emotionally charged response.
In my upcoming workshop, Difficult Performance Discussions Made Easy(ier), participants learn quick and easy ways to identify when they are avoiding a difficult discussion and what to do about it.
#2 - Taking Action Before Getting the Full Story
A key concept in one of my favorite books, "Crucial Conversations," is that we need to approach difficult conversations with humility and with the idea in mind that we may not know the full story.
I cannot tell you how many times I've had conversations with leaders who were ready to deliver a written warning to an employee and then when they sat down to deliver it, the employee shared with the leader an extenuating circumstance that made the written warning an overreaction.
The cost? Wasted time on writing the document and broken trust with the employee.
In the workshop, Difficult Performance Discussions Made Easy(ier), participants will receive a 2-step formula and sample verbiage of what to say to avoid this mistake.
#3 - Delivering a Written Warning That Creates Risk
There is a lot to say about this one and so many examples I can give.
That's why in the workshop, Difficult Performance Discussions Made Easy(ier), I give step-by-step guidance for creating a written document that reduces rather than creates risk + the #1 paragraph that needs to be included in the document to ensure both honesty toward your employee as well as reduced risk for your company.
If you're reading through this list and you find that you've made all 3 of these mistakes, please know that you are not alone!
Delivering performance feedback is hard and we don't always get the support and training we need to build skill in this area.
And this is why I created the workshop Difficult Performance Discussions Made Easy(ier).
Because I want to help leaders feel more confident and be more effective in delivering difficult performance feedback.
Although performance discussions may never be 100% EASY, this online workshop (and participant workbook) will definitely make them EASIER.
This interactive (not boring) leadership webinar will give you the roadmap and tools you need to feel more confident and effective during difficult employee performance discussions.
ONLINE WORKSHOP: “Difficult Performance Discussions Made Easy(ier)”
WHEN: February 24th, 10:00am - Noon Pacific Time
WHO: This workshop is designed for anyone who manages employees: CEOs, Executive Directors, Business Owners, Nonprofit Leaders, Managers, New & Seasoned Supervisors.
YOU’LL LEARN HOW TO:
• Identify signs of when you are avoiding difficult employee performance discussions and what to do about it.
• Deepen your understanding of when an employee performance issue requires written corrective action vs. verbal performance coaching.
• Define best practices for delivering empowerment-based feedback and corrective action.
• Review an effective, easy-to-use discussion format for effectively and respectfully leading difficult employee performance discussions.
PLUS!
• Receive a comprehensive workbook you can reference for years to come, including: A written corrective action template, a corrective action process roadmap, and a step-by-step guide with examples of what to say during a difficult employee performance discussion.
• Receive 90 minutes of interactive workshop instruction/discussion, followed by 30 minutes of HR Office Hours to answer your specific questions and receive expert guidance on HR issues.
Space is limited!
*Note: By registering for this event, you agree to receive marketing and promotional emails from Skye HR Consulting, LLC. You can unsubscribe at any time.
Questions about the workshop? Contact Skye@skyehrconsulting.com
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